Sunday, July 18, 2010
Another Letdown
And so this has also been neglected for the past week+. The next on the list of things I'm failing at. And not because I have nothing to write or because I want to avoid it. I'm just so tired. Sorry for the down mood; I'm sure I'll be more positive in a bit.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Realizations
One of my largest and longest held dreams in life is to get accepted into medical school and become a physician. I was recently rereading a book called "So, You Want To Be A Doctor, Eh?" (aimed at Canadian students - hence the "eh") and I realized something.
Just because I have big dreams, doesn't mean that achieving them now is better than achieving them later. That doesn't mean I want to be forty years old before I get into medical school or wait until I've done two undergraduate degrees and worked for several years before applying. What it does mean, is that maybe I don't have to get accepted in my third year of university in order to feel like I've accomplished something. Maybe I don't need to apply as soon as I can. More importantly, maybe I no longer want to.
For as long as I can remember, I planned to finish high school in three years, do two years of undergrad, apply and get accepted to medical school for third year and take a three year program (University of Calgary or McMaster), etc. But due to hospitalizations and treatment, high school was four years. I am entering my second year of university this September and have not yet written the MCAT (and won't be this summer), hence I cannot apply for third-year acceptance. And more and more I am realizing that I don't need to rush it. Getting it done faster, earlier, younger, may to some seem outwardly more impressive, but in the long run, I think that the other things will weigh more importantly on my values and accomplishments-I'm-proud-of scale. Getting accepted in third-year might be impressive/whatever now, but in many years, I think I'd rather have completed my degree and fourth year honours thesis, travelled more, volunteered more, tried more new things, explored my options, learned more in a variety of areas.
My goal is shifting. At least for today, my epiphany is that I don't just want things in my life completed as young as possible, but as fully and beneficially as possible. It's not about narrowness and surface achievement. It's about deeper, fuller, more impactful experiences. And that might be more than okay.
Just because I have big dreams, doesn't mean that achieving them now is better than achieving them later. That doesn't mean I want to be forty years old before I get into medical school or wait until I've done two undergraduate degrees and worked for several years before applying. What it does mean, is that maybe I don't have to get accepted in my third year of university in order to feel like I've accomplished something. Maybe I don't need to apply as soon as I can. More importantly, maybe I no longer want to.
For as long as I can remember, I planned to finish high school in three years, do two years of undergrad, apply and get accepted to medical school for third year and take a three year program (University of Calgary or McMaster), etc. But due to hospitalizations and treatment, high school was four years. I am entering my second year of university this September and have not yet written the MCAT (and won't be this summer), hence I cannot apply for third-year acceptance. And more and more I am realizing that I don't need to rush it. Getting it done faster, earlier, younger, may to some seem outwardly more impressive, but in the long run, I think that the other things will weigh more importantly on my values and accomplishments-I'm-proud-of scale. Getting accepted in third-year might be impressive/whatever now, but in many years, I think I'd rather have completed my degree and fourth year honours thesis, travelled more, volunteered more, tried more new things, explored my options, learned more in a variety of areas.
My goal is shifting. At least for today, my epiphany is that I don't just want things in my life completed as young as possible, but as fully and beneficially as possible. It's not about narrowness and surface achievement. It's about deeper, fuller, more impactful experiences. And that might be more than okay.
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