Monday, July 5, 2010

Realizations

One of my largest and longest held dreams in life is to get accepted into medical school and become a physician. I was recently rereading a book called "So, You Want To Be A Doctor, Eh?" (aimed at Canadian students - hence the "eh") and I realized something.

Just because I have big dreams, doesn't mean that achieving them now is better than achieving them later. That doesn't mean I want to be forty years old before I get into medical school or wait until I've done two undergraduate degrees and worked for several years before applying. What it does mean, is that maybe I don't have to get accepted in my third year of university in order to feel like I've accomplished something. Maybe I don't need to apply as soon as I can. More importantly, maybe I no longer want to.

For as long as I can remember, I planned to finish high school in three years, do two years of undergrad, apply and get accepted to medical school for third year and take a three year program (University of Calgary or McMaster), etc. But due to hospitalizations and treatment, high school was four years. I am entering my second year of university this September and have not yet written the MCAT (and won't be this summer), hence I cannot apply for third-year acceptance. And more and more I am realizing that I don't need to rush it. Getting it done faster, earlier, younger, may to some seem outwardly more impressive, but in the long run, I think that the other things will weigh more importantly on my values and accomplishments-I'm-proud-of scale. Getting accepted in third-year might be impressive/whatever now, but in many years, I think I'd rather have completed my degree and fourth year honours thesis, travelled more, volunteered more, tried more new things, explored my options, learned more in a variety of areas.

My goal is shifting. At least for today, my epiphany is that I don't just want things in my life completed as young as possible, but as fully and beneficially as possible. It's not about narrowness and surface achievement. It's about deeper, fuller, more impactful experiences. And that might be more than okay.

2 comments:

  1. Sometimes I feel like that too. I want to do X quicker, faster, or I'll lose time. But in the end, it's more productive to do things slowly and savour life, bite per bite ;)

    Thanks for the compliment on the drawing, I'll do more if people like it :D It's very childish and amateur, but if it's entertaining then why not? ;)
    p.s: Soup ice cream...? lol then you might aswell do a milkshake! :p

    xoxo

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  2. I completely, completely agree with the conclusion you came to. Recently I have been feeling frantic about finding a career and starting the fast track to success RIGHT! NOW! What I have realized is that success is however you define it. The things that matter most in my life are the people I come into contact with, my faith, my family, and trying to make a difference. No matter WHAT I'm doing career-wise, I'm being successful just by incorporating those things into my daily life. You are so wise to take some time to really work on yourself before you begin the rigors of med school. My best friend is in the thick of her 3rd year and from what she says, you have to REALLY have your s@#$ together to succeed without resorting to some awful coping mechanisms (excuse my foul language!) I think you'll be glad whenever you get there that you took the time to get yourself to a healthy place, and if that journey towards health takes you elsewhere, well, you're still healthy :)

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